Okay, here I am again. Five years running--the same room, the same sunlight over-brightening my laptop in late afternoon, the incessant dry wind, clouds on the horizon.

Repetition becomes a habit, surrounding us in familiarity, making us comfortable. I know where to put my gear conveniently, how to drape my power cord in the notch between the plywood desk and wall, to arrange my bed.

So here we are again, a crew of six plus two in Hanksville who join us for dinner. We know the place, where to store food, where to find the slow cooker that others didn't use, how to start the oven that others said might not be working. Four of us chose our favorite rooms (leaving two upper bunks). We know the game.

So our crew is not romanticizing about Mars. Read my stories from 2002, 2003, 2004, and even 2005 if you want dreams, fantasies, and thrills. I am not sure I have any to offer (but wait).

Yes, all is familiar and as it should be. But we are not the same, are we? I think it is one of the great mysteries of human relations-- I am most aware of how I am changing, and yet I believe the people around me are the same as before. So I say, "Here is Ron, just as Ron always is. Watch, he'll sit in the same place. Listen, he is always quiet and calm. Observe his work--he will be reliable, accurate, rationally paced." So Ron is the same Ron I've always known. Maarten, Brent, and John are unchanged, too. Or so I imagine.

I know I did not sit in this room four years ago. It was not me, but a younger person, perhaps a bit less jaded, certainly a bit less wise. I find myself dwelling in these changes, the aging, the quieting.

In 2002 I was about to do an exciting study of the crew's activities with time lapse video, something that now would be boring to repeat. Why do something if you know how it will turn out?

Ah-ha. So there we are. I don't know what will really happen here in our rotation during the next two weeks. It's a mystery, a story we will write together. That's the allure. We have ideas, some hopes, and some obligations. We don't know how it will turn out. That is why we are here.

And that is why we will go to the moon, to Mars, and beyond. That is why we explore.

Bill Clancey
Commander, MDRS Crew 49