Journalist's Report

March 21, 2008

Sean Blackman



Journalist Report:
21 March 2008

Sean Blackman

Siiiiiimmmm…. Siiiiiiimmmmmm…. That is going to be our new meditation.
In fact, we might just make a whole new religion based off the essence
of sim. In this religion, we believe firmly in the existence of aliens.
We believe any clothing that does not include a layer of Plexiglas in
front of your face is too revealing. We have a prophesy that, one day,
Earth’s gravity will finally be reduced to 2/3 its current value (as on
Mars). Before going outside, we believe in pausing for five minutes,
facing the door in silence, and contemplating the wonders of
decompressing (think space, and then you’ll understand). Decompressing
really is the key. Taking time to decompress each day relieves stress,
improves relationships (with those decompressing with you), and ensures
continued health/life. So after much research and contemplation, Crew
69 has a message for all the kids out there. Don’t do drugs, and
remember to decompress each day. I mean, really, all we really need now
is to designate a leader, dress him or her up in the coolest space suit
we can find, and dub them Lord of Sim-dom.

Unfortunately, this may not go too well with the general populace, so I
guess we’ll have to keep this religion contained within the walls of a
certain building in the desert regions of Utah. Namely Hanksville.
Namely a certain cylindrical structure just South of Hanksville. Namely
MDRS.

This is indeed what we do each day. And today’s weird-factor went up by
a factor of two when two photographers showed up at 1500 to record our
first EVA. There’s only one thing worse than burning up in the desert
of Utah in space suits, and that’s having a photographic record of you
burning up in the desert of Utah in space suits. Moving around in these
things is hard enough, and when you add in the psychological effects of
knowing you are being photographed, things get ugly real quick. The EVA
went fine and I’m sure we got some great shots, but I think it must
have thrown off the crew’s juju. When we got back, the prophesy about
gravity must have finally come true or something, because for some
reason we just could not keep things off the floor. Meat falling,
plates crashing, liquids spilling… it was a disaster. The most tragic
case was a shattered bottle of Tabasco sauce that took out a pair of
pants, a shirt, and two towels. Hopefully, this is a temporary ailment
and it will go away by the time the photographers show up at sunrise
tomorrow morning. One can only hope….

Crew 69 out!